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Ten Tips for Talking to Teachers
Jim Delisle, Ph.D. & Judy Galbraith,
M.A.
Are you having a problem with a
class or an assignment? Can you see room for improvement in how
a subject is taught? Do you have a better idea for a special project
or term paper? Don't just tell your friends. Talk to the teacher!
Many students don't know how to go about doing this. The following
suggestions are meant to make it easier for everyone - students and
teachers.
1. Make an appointment to meet and talk. This shows
the teacher that you're serious and you have some understanding of his
or her busy schedule. Tell the teacher about how much time you'll
need, be flexible, and don't be late.
2. If you know other students who feel the way you do, consider
approaching the teacher together. There's strength in numbers.
If a teacher hears the same thing from four or five people, he or she
is more likely to do something about it.
3. Think through what you want to say before you go into your
meeting with the teacher. Write down your questions or concerns.
Make a list of the items you want to cover. You may even want to
copy your list for the teacher so both of you can consult it during your
meeting. (Or consider giving it to the teacher ahead of time.)
4. Choose your words carefully. Example: Instead
of saying, "I hate doing reports; they're boring and a waste of time,"
try, "Is there some other way I could satisfy this requirement?
Could I do a video instead?" Strike the word "boring"
from your vocabulary. It's a word that's not helpful for teachers
(and it might even make them mad.)
5. Don't expect the teacher to do all of the work or propose
all of the answers. Be prepared to make suggestions, offer solutions,
even recommend resources. The teacher will appreciate that you took
the initiative.
6. Be diplomatic, tactful, and respectful. Teachers
have feelings, too. And they're more likely to be responsive if
you remember that the purpose of your meeting is conversation, not confrontation.
7. Focus on what you need, not on what you think the teacher
is doing wrong. The more the teacher learns about you, the more
he or she will be able to help. The more defensive the teacher feels,
the less he or she will want to help.
8. Don't forget to listen. Strange but true, many
students need practice in this essential skill. The purpose of your
meeting isn't just to hear yourself talk.
9. Bring your sense of humor. Not necessarily the
joke-telling sense of humor, but the one that lets you laugh at yourself
and your own misunderstandings and mistakes.
10. If your meeting isn't successful, get help from another
adult. "Successful" doesn't necessarily mean that
you emerged victorious. Even if the teacher denies your request,
your meeting can still be judged successful. If you had a real conversation
- if you communicated openly, listened carefully, and respected each other's
point of view - then congratulate yourself on a great meeting. If
the air crackled with tension, the meeting fell apart, and you felt disrespected
(or acted disrespectful), then it's time to bring in another adult.
Suggestions: a guidance counselor, the gifted program coordinator,
or another teacher you know and trust who seems likely to support you
and advocate for you. Once you've found help, approach your teacher
and try again.
Excerpted from When Gifted Kids Don't Have All the Answers: How to
Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs by Jim Delisle, Ph.D., and Judy
Galbraith, M.A. İ 2002 . Used with permission from Free Spirit Publishing
Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-800-735-7323; http://www.freespirit.com. All
rights reserved.
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Assertiveness and Effective Parent Advocacy
by Marie Sherrett, Excerpt from the December 1996 Issue
of Parenting for High Potential
I find that parents of children with special education needs come in several
categories:
*Pacifists or those who gets things done;
* Clinging vines or parent advocates;
* Silent victims or fighters;
*Dreamers or crusaders;
*Waiters or initiators;
* Bombshells or assertive parents;
* Appeasing compromisers or action heroes.
Which are you?
Parents are not assertive if they:
* Beat around the bush;
* Fail to describe problems;
* Feel guilty or are afraid to be vocal;
* Agree with professionals to keep peace;
* Ignore the right to services;
* Leave everything to others;
* Accept excuses for inappropriate or inadequate services;
* Beg for what the law says a child should have;
* Abdicate to others the right to advocate for a child;
* Depend on others to advocate;
* Give up because of red tape;
* Are too hasty to act;
* Fail to act;
* Accept the status quo;
* Give in to defeat;
* Are uncomfortable with accomplishments;
* Discourage your child from having hope for success.
What do you do?
Assertive parents
* Express themselves clearly, directly and without guilt;
* Are not intimidated;
* Prepare for meetings;
* Stay together;
* Are informed;
* Keep records;
* Collaborate;
* Effectively communicate;
* Demonstrate self-confidence;
* Advocate effectively;
* Are self-reliant and independent;
* Persist;
* Analyze problems;
* Organize to effect change;
* Are positive and strong;
* Have pride;
* Encourage others and hold people accountable.
Does this describe you?
Advocacy helps you get services for all special education children in
the least restrictive environment. Then you can participate, plan for
educational programs, and get legislation passed.
Advocacy opens new doors so children may become part of the community.
Advocacy knocks down barriers and prepares children for independence.
To meet others, you can
* Publish a letter or article for your local papers
* Pass out flyers at school
* Organize public meetings
* Encourage volunteers
* Plan
* Have goals and objectives
* Talk to the media (I love to do this!)
None of this is easy but the rewards can be fantastic!
Remember: Parents put together Public Law 94-142. Parents who vote urged
Congress to pass the law that became the Individuals with Disabilities
Education Act.
You can make things better for the next generation without filing for
due process. How?
You must learn the art of persuasion, advocacy-style!
There is both safety and strength in numbers.
If you can go over a hill and change a classroom, you can go over a mountain
and change a state's respite care services, early infant and toddler program,
inclusive educational situations and training manuals. There is no end
to the positive changes one parent can achieve! Together, we are more
powerful!
Now these things cannot occur overnight. But if a parent says to me, "What
can I do? I'm only one person," I say, "You have no idea the
power you have."
In five years, our Chapter made local and state changes. None of our parents
felt alone.
You, too, can change the world for those with special education needs
and disabilities.
Am I asking a lot? Yes, I am.
I am asking you to learn, read and network. You must take these steps
for your children and the children who will come along behind your children.
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How to Make Parent-Teacher Conferences Worthwhile and
Productive
By Arlene DeVries
Parent-teacher conferences provide excellent opportunities for home and
school to unite in an effort to enrich a child's social and academic growth.
Teachers bring expertise in content areas, curriculum planning, classroom
organization, and student motivation. Parents have unique insights about
their child's needs, aspirations, interests, and aptitudes. The challenge
lies in discovering the best way for you and your child's teachers to
communicate and implement appropriate enrichment experiences.
Before the Conference, Educate Yourself
1. Know School Policies. Gather information about the district mission
statement and the board of education's priorities for school improvement
by attending local school board meetings and parent advisory committees
or advocacy groups for parents of gifted/talented students. Does the mission
statement mention educating students to the full extent of their abilities,
aptitudes, capabilities, and interests? Does it mention meeting the needs
of each student? Are there provisions for parent and community involvement?
Find out which staff persons in your district and in your school are responsible
for gifted education. Become familiar with educational vocabulary in order
to talk professionally with school personnel.
2. Know State and Local Guidelines for Gifted Programs. Contact the individual
responsible for gifted/talented education in the state department of education
for information on state guidelines and mandates. Find out in which areas
of giftedness (e.g., academic aptitude, visual arts, performing arts,
leadership) students are identified and served. Research the program components
in your district. Are there compacted or modified
assignments, grade or subject acceleration, classroom enrichment, community
experiences, Advanced Placement or honors classes, early graduation, post-secondary
enrollment, independent study, or mentorships?Read books and professional
magazines on gifted education and attend conferences. Talk to other parents
of gifted children to find out what has and has not worked for them in
the educational system.
3. Know Your Child. Be comfortable with your child's giftedness and with
the label "gifted." Seek to understand the strengths and weaknesses,
both academically and socially, that your child displays at school. Prior
to a conference, talk to your child about his or her concerns and frustrations
with school as well as about the tasks he or she especially enjoys or
completes with ease. Be prepared to share any special situations or needs
at home such as illness, death, divorce, re-marriage, or job change that
may have an impact on the child's school performance. Be sure to bring
specific examples of some of your child's interests and talents displayed
outside the classroom (e.g., a poem, drawing, cartoon, photo of a collection,
or hobby).
At the Conference, Use Positive Communication
Techniques
Arrive promptly at the scheduled conference time. Enter confidently and
shake hands with the teacher, giving your name and your child's name.
Both parents should attend when possible. Single parents might ask a relative,
friend, or someone who shares responsibility for the child to accompany
them. When possible, arrange to sit in an adult chair at eye level with
the teacher. Listen actively. Be calm, diplomatic, and tactful. With your
body language show that you are interested in what the teacher has to
say. If you feel you are leaving conferences with only surface information
such as test scores and attendance records, ask some questions that will
delve deeper into the child's school life. For example:
1. Does our child seem happy in school? What are his or her special interests
and strengths?
2. How does our child interact with others (age-level peers, older children,
younger children, adults)? Is he or she perceived as a "know-it-all"
and made fun of, or do others seek him or her out?
3. Does the academic work seem challenging, or is it done with little
effort?
4. Are provisions made for students to learn at their own pace? Are assignments
altered to accommodate abilities and interests?
5. If our child participates in special gifted/talented experiences, is
he or she expected to make up regular classroom work?
6. How does our child feel about trying new things or making mistakes?
7. Are there opportunities for critical and creative thinking and for
problem solving? How does our child respond?
8. In what ways does our child show the ability to work independently,
accept leadership roles, assume responsibility, and exhibit intellectual
curiosity?
9. What can we do to help our child develop his or her talents?
10. Are there appropriate after-school or summer enrichment opportunities
available for our child?
Find ways to show appreciation for the positives that happen in the classroom.
Avoid absolutes (always, never) and words describing your child that might
have a negative impact on the teacher (bored, brilliant). Instead, use
language such as, "My child seems to learn differently" or "needs
less time and fewer repetitions to master the content." Express a
willingness to help solve problems. The emphasis is on what you and the
teacher can do together, not just what the teacher can do.
If you do not understand or agree with the teacher's suggestions, reflect
on the possibilities and follow up later. After giving some thought to
an idea or trying it at home, you may find it has value. On other occasions,
you might conclude that you and the teacher need to look for a better
way to proceed.
When making curriculum suggestions, be specific about a strategy that
fits your child's needs and has been recognized in quality gifted programs.
Show how it reflects the district's goals or policies and how you could
help at home to make it successful. It is important that these suggestions
be made first with the child's classroom teacher. Only when you have been
unable to reach a mutual decision after several honest professional attempts
should you take the issue to the principal or gifted education supervisor.
Finally, teachers appreciate follow-up notes thanking them for their time
and interest in your child. School communication is a vital and on-going
process. The more insights you and the teacher share about each other
and your child, the greater the chances for educational growth.
Arlene DeVries is currently chair of the Parent/Community Division of
NAGC, co-chair of its Parent Institute Task Force, and a member of NAGC's
Advocacy and Parent Magazine task forces. She is vice president and local
parent chapter liaison for the Iowa Talented and Gifted Association and
has been the Community Resource Consultant for the Des Moines Schools
gifted/talented program for the past 15 years.
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Learn to Ask Questions, Get Services
By Laurie from New York,
Excerpt from the December 1996 Issue
of Parenting for High Potential
When I began to advocate for my daughter, I felt insecure when
I requested services or supports for her.
Because I felt insecure, I supported my requests with lots of documentation
--articles, reports and recommendations from experts, test results, and
information about specialized equipment. I was calm, polite, and in control.
I was surprised to find that the "powers that be" would not
provide the services and supports that I requested for my daugher.
How Do They Perceive Me?
Why was I having this problem? What could I do?
It seemed that when I made a request, the educational experts viewed me
as a ³Know it All Parent² who thought she knew more about my child's needs
than they did. I realized that they felt threatened.
Now when I go to an IEP meeting, I have a mental list of the accommodations
my child needs. What took me so long to do to ask for what my child
needs I NEVER do! Now I ask questions so the educators come up with the
desired solution, NOT me.
Strategies: Asking Questions to Identify
Solutions
My child Susie has a hearing loss. I want Susie to sit near the teacher
OR have a speakerphone in the classroom. I won't ask that Susie sit near
the teacher or have a speakerphone.
Instead, I will say, "Gee, Susie really loves her teacher, Mrs. Smith.
Itıs sad that Susie can't hear much that Mrs. Smith says. You know Susie
has a hearing loss? (submit medical report) Susie really wants to do well
on the new state tests. I wonder what we can do . . .
At this point, someone is likely to say, "Let's have her sit by the
teacher" or "Let's get a speakerphone for her."
I say, "That's a wonderful idea. I'm so glad you thought of it."
Strategies: Saying "Thank You"
I thank the team members for letting Susie sit near Mrs. Smith, the teacher
she likes so much. I know this sounds crazy but I found it works most
of the time. Educators/experts are happy when THEY come up with the way
to meet the childıs needs! Sometimes, they have ideas that I had not considered
either!
I decided it doesnıt matter who comes up with the solution as long as
my child's needs are met!
Last year, we moved to a new school district in a different part of the
state. We had a "clean slate." I had a chance to try out my
techniques with a new group of educators. I gave them my childıs IEP and
told them about the equipment our former school used (the former school
was willing to sell the stuff to them).
I could tell them everything they needed to know about my daughter but
until they met her and got to know her for themselves, I was just another
"yappy" parent.
I learned another lesson: our children often win over people on their
own!
IEP Day: My Child Has Many Advocates
When IEP day came, more people were advocating for my daughter than I
could imagine. I sat there feeling stunned, not saying much.
I heard, "We need to base her services on what she needs, NOT the
availability of a TVI (Teacher of the Visually Impaired)" and "We
need to have some training in this area" and "We must order
these Braille books immediately."
They had already purchased the equipment from the old school it was
sitting on the table!
When I meet or talk with school staff, I explain that my daughter needs
access to the general curriculum. She must have instructional materials
in Braille, services from a teacher of the visually impaired, and orientation
and mobility instruction.
I also explain that she wants to be like other kids. I do not expect the
school to cartwheels just for her! When they realized that I do not want
to break their budget or create unnecessary extra work for them, theyıve
been great. I can honestly say that I don't feel that I'm an at odds with
them! (But I still donıt let down my guard.)
I look at it this way: If an educator came into my home and told me how
to decorate the rooms and what color to paint my walls, I would not be
very happy!
I canıt say that everything has been smooth sailing we have had some
glitches and are getting some things in place for next year. I think this
is the case whenever people with different interests work together for
a common goal.
Parents need to figure out how to get the educators to come up with what
our children need. My strategies are one approach. I'll bet other parents
have ideas too!
It's sort of silly when you think about it -- like a game!
From Wrightslaw
You're right, it's like a game. And you hit a home run!
If a parent asks for a specific service or support, this generally ensures
that the school will not provide that service or support.
After you struck out, you spent time thinking about the meetings. You
thought about how you were perceived by school people (a Know-it-All or
"yappy parent). You understood that if you took over the role of
"Expert," you would leave no role for the educators.
If school people feel threated or disrespected by you, they will look
for a way to shoot you down. This is human nature - it is not specific
to special education.
Many parents do not understand these issues. Since many parents feel insecure
in their dealings with school people, it's hard for them to put their
egos on the back burner.
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THE POWER OF ADVOCACY
by Kay Fecke, distributed by the Department of Public Instruction,
1989.
Advocacy - What is it?
Advocacy is the active support of an idea or cause. An advocate is a person
who by word and deed shows others his/her position on a given issue.
What is EFFECTIVE advocacy?
While there are many degrees of advocacy, merely speaking out on an issue
does not mean the advocate will effectively influence the target audience.
In order to be effective, a sound understanding of the issue is necessary.
Research through available literature or direct information from authorities
on the subject will help to prepare the effective advocate. The advocate
can then carefully plan the advocacy effort.
An EFFECTIVE advocate knows the issue well and uses that knowledge skillfully.
Why advocate for the gifted and talented?
Gifted and talented are not automatically assured of appropriate educational
services in many schools or districts throughout the country. In many
instances it is necessary to advocate first for awareness and understanding
of who the gifted and talented are and why they have special needs. After
an awareness has been gained it is necessary to advocate for appropriate
programs.
The gifted and talented are often misunderstood and become dropout statistics
rather than achieving their fullest potential. Gifted and talented children
need advocates to help them succeed and overcome the myths and stereotypes
surrounding giftedness. In many instances they are "handicapped"
by their giftedness. If skilled advocates are not available, the myths
and misunderstandings will be perpetuated.
What is Individual Advocacy - and when
is it appropriate?
A parent, educator, or concerned other may find it necessary to advocate
on behalf of an individual child or family. In the event that a school
or district does not have an appropriate program for the child, the advocates
must determine the desired goals and carefully plan the most appropriate
means of reaching these goals. It may be necessary to advocate in an individual
case to more appropriately tailor an existing G/T program to the special
needs of the child.
What is Group Advocacy - and when is it
appropriate?
When several concerned individuals identify a common goal or goals for
an advocacy effort they may decide to advocate as a group. It is important
to establish clear goals. It is vital to use a unified approach. Group
advocacy is effective if the group is working together in a knowledgeable
and skilled way.
When the desired goals will have an effect on several children or families
in the school or district it is appropriate to involve a group in the
advocacy effort. A group encourages a school or district to address the
issue because it shows that a significant number of people are concerned.
Why should you become an advocate?
Your active effective advocacy is needed, not just for the gifted and
talented children you already know, but for those you will never know
as well. The greater the awareness of the needs of the gifted and talented
the more likely it will be that appropriate programs will be developed.
The more programs developed and the better the understanding of gifted
and talented children the more widespread services for the gifted and
talented will become. The goal of advocacy for the gifted and talented
is to have appropriate educational services available to all G/T children
to allow them to fulfill their potential without the misunderstandings
which now often occur.
If you won't do this, who will?
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PITFALLS IN ADVOCACY EFFORTS FOR GIFTED AND TALENTED
CHILDREN
(From Minnesota Council
for Gifted and Talented News - November/December 1983.)
Using An Adversarial
Rather Than A Persuasive Approach
There is a natural tendency for us to model after the advocates for the
rights of minorities and rights of the handicapped. Those "other
advocates" were very adept in various pressure tactics. But these
tactics will not work as well for advocates of the gifted for three reasons:
The cause is different. Times have changed. We are wiser.
Assuming That People In Administrative
And Political Positions Are Not Too Bright Or Not Very Knowledgeable -
Or Both
Such attitudes and actions are destructive to any cause. They are particularly
deadly if the advocate is speaking on behalf of the gifted. Advocates
seldom realize that these decision makers have to grapple with issues
that we do not understand. Despite our own feelings on the matter, gifted
and talented programs will probably always be a minor issue.
Being Patient
It is very tough to be patient when you see children whose abilities need
attention and development RIGHT NOW. But patience in advocacy for the
gifted and talented is more than a virtue, it is a requirement.
Being Human
The failure of many advocacy efforts for the gifted and talented (or for
any other cause for that matter) can be directly or indirectly traced
to a common human malady - egoism. Perhaps the toughest challenge you
will face as an advocate for the gifted and talented will not be to testify
before a legislative committee, but to manage to get a group of fellow
advocates to work together. Getting that chorus together will require
a lot of effort and selflessness so that no one voice rises above the
others.
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HOW TO WORK WITH BOARDS OF EDUCATION
(From An Advocate's Guide
to Building Support for Gifted and Talented Education, Reprinted with
permission from Patricia Bruce Mitchell, Editor)
SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS:
Your child's education depends on your ability to work with the people
who work with your child. The following suggestions may help you in your
relationship with your local board of education:
1. Know the responsibilities and limitations of your board; be familiar
with its policy describing philosophy, goals and objectives.
2. Remember that board members are probably concerned parents like
yourself, investing their good efforts and time to demonstrate that concern.
3. Be a well informed and supportive parent. Attend board meetings
regularly and demonstrate your interest in quality education for all children.
4. Find opportunities to meet your board members personally; know
both your friends and enemies and discover who is "sitting on the
fence" about your interest in gifted children. This information tells
you who and how many must be brought over to your way of thinking in order
to raise a majority of votes for the issues that are important to you.
5. if you want to bring a specific issue before the board, give advance
written notice which is signed by a group of parents who share your concern
and who will attend the meeting with you. This will enable the board to
prepare answers on which it can act instead of putting it on the defensive.
6. If you have reason to believe that the board will be unresponsive
to you, send a copy of your letter to the press which regularly covers
your board meetings.
7. Your questions to the board should be a search for information.
Don't ask questions to which you know the answer merely to make the board
look inept. A hostile board will not work with you.
8. Offer your help on a study committee with board members and educators
to investigate your concerns about the education of gifted students to
arrive at practical solutions.
9. Dedicate yourself to this: You can do anything you want to do
if you want it badly enough, if you are willing to work hard enough, and
if you will have a little patience - but not too much.
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Options for Parent Involvement
By Gina Ginsberg Riggs,
Excerpt from the December 1996 Issue
of Parenting for High Potential
1. Parents as audience (music, drama, sports events, science or curriculum
fairs)
2. Parents as advocates (attending parent/teacher conferences; participating
in the development of their child's Individual Educational Plan)
3. Parents as helpers (chaperones, fund-raisers, library or classroom
volunteers)
4. Parents as learners (attending parent seminars, lecture/ discussion
groups, joint activities for parents and educators)
5. Parents as partners (advisory board members, participants in problem-solving
groups or task forces, committee members)
6. Parents as experts (leading workshops or other activities for
educators in an area of expertise; consulting to schools in areas of skill
such as computer software, energy efficiency. children's literature, playground
construction)
7. Parents as "Just people" (participating in breakfasts,
pat luck dinners, hobby groups, Saturday morning activities)
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A handful of "KNOWS" for parent advocates
(Swap, Susan McAllister.
Enhancing Parent Involvement in Schools. New York, New York: Teachers
College Press, 1987.)
Parents who want to be advocates for gifted education need some preparation
before they wend their way through the educational system. Five Knows
may assist in this trek...
Know yourself and where you stand,
Know what you are facing,
Know the law and how to make it work for you,
Know who's who in the school system, and
Know when, where, and how to contact people in education.
Know Yourself And Where You Stand
There is a world of difference between listening to a neighbor saying,
"Your Susie is such a smart little thing," and receiving an
official school notice that Susan had been identified as gifted.
It is perfectly normal for parents to be afraid of using the word gifted.
It is a loaded word that may suggest far more than the parent would
ever intend.
One of the most useful purposes of a parent organization for gifted education
is to give parents a place and resources with which they can get acquainted
with the vocabulary and the concepts of gifted education.
My first real contact with gifted education came not when our middle son
was identified as such but when the teacher of gifted education called
a meeting of the parents. She handed out a huge sheaf of papers on characteristics
of the gifted, what parents can do for their gifted children, lists of
books to read, and programs for the gifted.
I went home in a state of shock. Our son, who was in the gifted program,
was a very stable, independent, generally cheerful 12-year-old, who had
been so easy to parent. Suddenly, I was paralyzed with fear because I
should know all the things in these papers and should be doing a hundred
other things besides. I did not think I could cope with this different
son of mine.
It definitely takes time to learn about gifted education and to become
at ease with the word gifted.
But if you want your child to know what it is to have a challenge
in school, if you want him or her to learn good study habits, and if you
want to hear how exciting school is instead of how boring, you will want
to begin the journey into advocacy for appropriate services for the gifted.
Know What You Are Facing
You may well hear some remarks along the way that could discourage you.
It is helpful to be prepared and to have some answers ready. Even if the
opportunity to use them does not come, being ready strengthens your self-confidence.
A common attitude is expressed by the comment, "Bright children have
so much going for them. Why do they need special services?" This
may come from people who work in other areas of special education. These
people know that no matter how hard they try, the children they care about
will never reach average levels in many ways. To them, the thought of
spending time, money, and staff on those over average standards seems
unjust. It is important to remember how deeply and intensely they may
feel and to be sensitive to their position.
Just because some of us have discovered the wonderful world of gifted
education does not mean that everyone around us will rush to our side.
If They're Bright, They'll Make It
This is another put-off. Our youngest son was identified as gifted
in fourth grade. At that time, he could occasionally express an observation
or insight that would be incredibly perceptive. In other words, he had
no control over his intelligence. It operated in a random fashion. What
the gifted program did for him was teach him how to harness his intelligence,
how to solve problems in a conscious manner, using certain procedures
and skills that were new to him. Now as a high school senior, he can handle
independent work at the college level because of his special education.
Some people fear that if children are identified as gifted, they will
think they are different. Any parent who watches interaction among children
knows that gifted children already know they are different. They know
their vocabularies are bigger than those of their peers, they know they
can finish assignments faster, and they know they can often answer before
the teacher finishes the question. The corollary is that their classmates
also know.
One of our children used to say, "All these adults making referrals
for the gifted program. Why don't they ask the kids? We know," And
he was probably right. The reason for identifying children is not to label
them but to give them the appropriate education they need.
Parents Are on an Ego Trip
I first heard this comment from two people I thought were among my
best friends. I have heard it often since then. My own impression is that
most parents tend more to be reticent than overbearing in this matter.
But even if a parent were the most obvious braggart ever, his or her child
still needs the services. No child is denied the right to learn to read
because his parents are socially unpleasant. This remark is, in my opinion,
unfair, untrue, and irrelevant.
It is important to know that some school administrators may be unresponsive
to your pleas for services. They may deny problems that you know exist.
Some are under pressure from their superiors and their workload. Perhaps
these are some of the reasons that they do not respond as positively as
we would wish. Some just seem to feel a great need to save face.
Interestingly enough, I often realize at the beginning of a school year
that a problem that supposedly did not exist the previous year has been
solved or a program that was just my crazy idea is now in place. Satisfaction
comes from knowing that your speaking up might have brought about or hastened
the solution. It will not come from a thankful administrator.
Know The Law
The regulations for special education and for gifted education are usually
available from a state's department of education. It is very helpful to
know what is covered in the regulations, what is legally required, and
what is suggested.
One time, I called an administrator to ask about the possibility of our
county starting kindergarten-level identification of gifted children because
research shows that early identification and service helps children. I
was told that because identification of 5-year-olds was required for handicapped
children but not gifted, there would be no program.
Several months later, I accidentally found in our state regulations a
statement affirming the county's legal responsibility to provide this
kind of service for all exceptionalities, including giftedness. To this
day, I wish I had checked the regulations to see if I had legal backing
before making that call.
In another situation, I attended our son's Placement meeting where about
seven or eight school representatives chose to appear to discuss whether
or not he was eligible for the gifted program. The top administrator present
did not want to see him identified because his spelling and writing skills
were poor. No other official would argue with his position. In fact, one
or two supported him. Even the psychologist who had tested our son and
found him to be gifted would not speak up. I knew, if I did not speak
for our son, no one would. I kept saying that the program in our state
was based legally on intellectual ability, not performance and that this
boy needed the services of the program precisely because certain of his
skills were poor.
In a clear case of saving face someone suggested that, because our son's
spelling was below par, perhaps he had a hearing problem. The only hearing
problem we had ever noticed occurred in the morning when he was told that
it was time to get up! However, because we had reached an impasse and
I had no more idea than anyone else how to proceed, I agreed to the hearing
test. A later placement meeting promptly set him in the gifted program.
One of the most helpful functions an organization can provide is having
a few parents act as advocates for parents who are new to the system.
If this had not been my fourth child to go through the placement process,
I would not have had the confidence to stand up to the system. Parent
advocates can provide moral support, rational approaches, and solid information
for other parents.
Know Who's Who In The System
Parents who have gotten to know their child's teachers, gifted teacher,
and principal will be in a better position when the time comes to discuss
a problem or possible changes. Beyond the school level, there are people
in the central administrative unit of a local system who have various
responsibilities for parts of the gifted program or can indirectly affect
it.
The director of special education probably is the best source of information
about the overall gifted program in your local area and certainly makes
most of the significant decisions about it. Some school districts also
have coordinators of special education. Although coordinators usually
have a heavy workload, they do not have the authority of someone listed
as director or supervisor. If they are good, they have the power of persuasion,
which may be very effective; however, without the power of the purse,
they are limited in what they can accomplish.
Also in the special education office is a secretary, who can give you
specific information and let you know the best time to reach other staff
members. In our county, she has at times given our organization time on
the copying machine when teachers did not need it.
Some school districts also have area coordinators, such as a math coordinator.
This person can set up teacher training sessions, ask for a consultant,
help two schools set up a joint special program in an academic area, and
generally advocate services for the gifted if so inclined.
Because reading is high on most school priority lists, many school systems
have reading specialists. My friend, Carol, had a daughter who completed
the sixth-grade reader in the first week of school. Carol asked the teacher
what her daughter was to do the rest of the year. The teacher said that
she should go back and reread the book with the class. Because Carol was
not satisfied with this answer, she asked for a meeting with the principal
and the teacher.
The principal invited a reading specialist to join the group. Carol later
reported that the specialist knew what questions to ask the teacher to
help him see that this particular sixth grader needed a curriculum beyond
the standard one he was preparing to teach. One moral of this story is
that the parent who can find an advocate within the school system is in
a better position to be listened to than the one who has to work alone.
Sometimes there are assistant superintendents for particular areas, such
as curriculum or secondary education. These experts can be approached
on broad issues because they appreciate knowing what is being proposed
before hearing it from the superintendent.
The school board is certainly important because it controls the budget
and has the power to make long range facilities and curriculum decisions.
In one case, a parents group that was alarmed by the inadequacy of the
proposed new gifted resource room circulated a petition asking for legally
adequate facilities.
Because they were fortunate to have a lawyer-parent among them, these
activist parents promised an injunction against the school board if the
situation was not corrected. They asked for time on the board agenda and
let it be known why they wanted it. Before they had a chance to speak,
the school board announced that it was allocating a large sum of money
for a brand new room and equipment. I learned from this situation that
firmness does count, advance notice can prevent a showdown, and group
action has an effect.
Once you get to know the personnel, you have several advantages, such
as knowing who has the stated responsibility and who has the real power.
You also know who will speak up on your behalf. You can save energy and
time by going directly to the person who can handle a situation. I once
called a junior high school immediately after classes and poured out my
heart - to the janitor!
If you have an organizational newsletter, send it to the people who can
affect gifted education. In that way, they will get to know you and your
work.
Know When, Where, And How To Contact People
In The School System
School systems are highly structured. Generally, it is necessary to start
at the bottom of the hierarchy. I can almost guarantee that if you go
to the principal with a classroom problem, the first question you will
be asked is, "Have you talked with the teacher yet?"
Even if you are sure how the teacher feels, you would do best to start
there. And, sometimes, the solution is found simply by talking it out.
Before you make an appointment, ask yourself a few questions and try some
other techniques besides dialing.
Jeremy comes home from school, slams the door, and announces, "I
hate Mrs. Jones. She gives the stupidest assignments!"
Before calling Mrs. Jones, you might ask yourself if this outburst is
an isolated complaint or part of a general anger against this teacher
or school. In the ideal world, there are no stupid assignments. However,
if your general impression is that Mrs. Jones gives smart assignments,
it is better not to create an adversarial situation over one day's less-than-perfect
lesson.
A second question is, are you hearing the whole story? There is an outside
chance that Jeremy did not finish the assignment. Mrs. Jones noticed and
commented accordingly. Or perhaps Jeremy had to redo his work, rarely
a pleasant task for anyone.
I have heard parents complain about the inadequacy of the assignments
that their children have had to do, both in the regular classroom and
in the gifted class. I always would wonder if the work was part of a larger,
highly instructive assignment. Perhaps this simple assignment was necessary
preparation for the more constructive work later on.
A principal who was not especially pleased by having a gifted program
in his school noticed that the gifted students were making clay models
of animals. He immediately berated the teacher for letting junior high
students play with clay, an activity he claimed was appropriate only for
small children. He did not bother to stay long enough to learn that the
modeling was the culmination of an intensive unit on scientific observation.
A university professor of biology had helped the students learn how to
look for identifying characteristics in different types of reptiles. The
models were not meant to be works of art as much as accurate representations
of particular species.
My son brought home his crocodile with great pride and described to us
how it was different from his friend's alligator. It was not playtime
in that class.
A third step for a parent is making sure that he or she is not responding
while in a pique of anger. If you can't keep your voice controlled and
your heart is pitty-patting against your shirt, you need to take a walk
down the road or sleep on the matter. Wait until you can be reasonable
and civil and, if possible, until you can accumulate more evidence for
your position.
Fourth, know that a non-school-based situation is often the best solution.
All of the recent studies on public education seem to agree that our children
do not learn enough problem solving skills in schools. Parents can help
correct that deficiency.
Without evaluating your child's charge that a problem exists, you can
help him or her work through some possible answers.
"If the situation is the way you say it is, what would Fix it up?
Make it better? How could that be done? Who could do it? Would that solution
work? What would be your part in it?"
All children can profit from learning problem-solving. Gifted children
frequently grow up to take on professional positions in which solving
problems is the key to successful performance.
When our daughter started high school, most of the students in the gifted
program came from two large junior highs. Almost immediately, they closed
ranks and became involved in a game of one-upsmanship. Because they had
several academic classes together and spent time together with the gifted
teacher, much of their curriculum was being affected.
My daughter reported the problem to me several times. Finally, she and
her friends decided that they wanted the situation to improve. She talked
with several of the students from the other school to assure them that
the students from her school really wanted to be friends and that they
hoped to start over fresh.
By the time two teachers had criticized the students, she could report
that it was unnecessary because the students had taken care of the problem
themselves. Not only were they proud of themselves, but this self-generated
solution is much more likely to work than one imposed from above.
If, after all these constructive delaying techniques, you still want to
meet with the school official or teacher, you may find that these points
will help.
First, it is infinitely better to start off pleasantly than to stride
into the room-ready for battle. Second, describe the situation as you
understand it. That opens the way for the other person to add to or present
a different view without an argumentative approach from either of you.
If you have evidence, bring it. Our fifth-grader had all A's one year;
the next year, he came home with all Ss. I simply took the two report
cards and said the overall drop in grades concerned rm. Then, it was up
to the teacher to respond.
As with children, asking questions of adults is often more constructive
than giving answers: "Do you, the teacher, see a problem? Is there
something we can do at home? Are there solutions here at school? How soon
can this be started (changed, remedied)? Do we need to meet again?"
After the meeting, send a thank-you note. Even if the meeting is unpleasant
to the point of open hostility, send that note. You can always thank the
person for giving time and attention to your concern.
Many teachers. whether good, bad, or indifferent in their skills, work
hard for years without ever receiving a note of thanks for their efforts.
Sometimes, I think those notes bring out more positive results than our
frontal assaults.
As an organization, you can use some additional guidelines for a meeting.
Keep your agenda short. After being organized for one year, our parent
group sent 18 concerns and recommendations to the school administration.
The administration cannot deal with 18 concerns simultaneously. Stay with
one or two per meeting.
Consider the school schedule. I once went to the main office the last
day before school opened in the fall for some information. Everyone was
scurrying around and certainly had no time for me. I scurried too ---
right out the door.
Summer, on the other hand, is a perfect time to discuss general topics,
like the future of the school's gifted program or finding good topics
for parent programs. Administrators are not under as much pressure for
deadlines then and often enjoy having time for an idea session.
After you make an appointment, verify it with a letter. "For our
meeting next Tuesday, we hope to talk about...." This gives the administrator
the opportunity to prepare for the meeting as you have. Sometimes, I fear
we have ourselves all ready, and we absolutely pounce on the unprepared
school person who immediately feels so defensive that the meeting never
has a chance of being productive.
Always have at least two people representing your group. Not only do you
provide moral support for each other and complement each other's knowledge,
you also provide witness for each other in questionable situations.
Include a man. Without any desire to defend the situation, we have found
that there are a few administrators who see mothers as emotional faucets
who pour out their story and then are to be dismissed, but fathers are
people with whom they will do business. The important point here is that
parents want to present their case in the most favorable light possible.
If a person is hung up on the fact that the person present is female,
that case may not ever be heard.
Ask for a timetable if you want changes, additions, or deletions. In that
way, you have more than a pleasant conversation that ends nowhere. You
can check up on promises.
Again a follow-up letter verifying the meeting is important. For example.
"Our understanding of the decision we reached is.... Please let us
know by October 1 if this is incorrect. Thank you for your time and interest."
Knowing these five Know's can enhance an organization's advocacy
role. It can also strengthen the individual efforts of those who want
to see their gifted children receive a public education that will lift
their spirits and minds.
The role of parent advocate is not an easy one. However, as I look back
on the growth of the gifted program in my own county and the increasingly
positive attitudes among educators, I have a sense of satisfaction that
our parent organization was part of the growth and learning process and
that our children and many others are starting to experience the benefits
of our trek.
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SUGGESTIONS FOR WORKING WITH SCHOOL BOARDS
(GCT-November /December.
1987-11)
1. Attend a few board meetings
and JUST LISTEN. Find out what it's like to be on a school board. Quite
often it is a thankless job that few people volunteer for. Most school
board members are parents and taxpayers just like vou, with concerns and
worries about their children's education that are just as strong as yours.
By attending a few meetings before your actual presentation, you can learn
who the officers are, how the meetings are conducted, and most important,
which members seem to have the most power at influencing the others.
2. Do your HOMEWORK. You are not ready to make a presentation before
the school board until you have gathered facts and information which will
support your concerns. A supportive parent has influence. A supportive
AND informed parent has POWER! POWER TO MOTIVATE. POWER TO CREATE OR CHANGE
POLICIES. First, find out exactly what is or isn't happening for gifted
children in your district. There may be programs or activities happening
for gifted children in classrooms other than your child's. Second, find
out what is happening in other school districts in your state, especially
those of similar size and financial status. Third, talk to other parents.
A group presentation with one member serving as spokesperson might be
effective. And it is a comfort to know you are not in this alone! Fourth,
prepare a written HANDOUT, one for each board member which summarizes
the facts and details about your concerns.
3. GET TO KNOW THE BOARD MEMBERS PERSONALLY. Can you call the board
members by their first names? Have you invited them over for coffee? Do
you know their occupations? Have you given a board member a chance to
know vou personally?
4. Ask, IN WRITING, ahead of time, to be placed on the agenda for
the next board meeting. Most school boards stick to a prearranged agenda.
Just because you show up at the meeting doesn't mean you will be given
a chance to participate. Include in this written notice some of the issues
you wish to raise with the board. This will allow the board members to
prepare in advance some of their answers and spare them the embarrassment
of being uninformed.
5. Offer SUGGESTIONS. Nobody likes to listen to criticism from someone
who offers no solutions. This is where your homework will come in handy.
It is better to offer several alternatives that the board may act on.
Forcing one solution may only put them on the defensive.
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IDEAS, ACTIVITIES, AND PROJECTS FOR PARENT SUPPORT
GROUPS
(GCT-November /December.
1987-11)
Sponsor workshops, conferences, and conventions
Compile a resource list of citizens willing to serve as mentors
Compile a resource list of people, places, and things for field trips
Sponsor a gifted fair to display and share talents of gifted children
Publish a newsletter
Attend school board meetings and present information on gifted education
Volunteer the services of parents as teacher aids
Present free memberships to legislators, public officials, administrators
Provide information and/or sponsor summer programs for gifted children
Compile a resource list of books, periodicals, and journals related to
gifted
Establish a PR committee to increase public awareness of gifted
Establish a legislative committee to explore funding possibilities
Publish a book of stories, poems written by gifted children
Invite experts in the field of gifted education to speak at meetings
Investigate and visit other gifted programs in other school districts
Become a clearing house for information dates of conventions and workshops
Exchange ideas and information with other parent support groups
Provide articles for newspapers on gifted programs (include pictures)
Publish a handbook for children of gifted parents
Support political candidates who advocate gifted education
Sponsor a young authors contest, creative problem-solving bowl, Odyssey
of the Mind
Raise money for scholarships for gifted children
Work with public libraries to provide special programs for gifted
Organize after-school and/or Saturday minicourses for gifted.
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Promoting Gifted Education in Your Community
by Kristen Stephens
Despite the fact that there is a strong need to build awareness of the
purposes for gifted programs and the special needs of the students these
programs serve, developing solid advocacy efforts for gifted programs
has been an overlooked area in the field. Public awareness could rescue
gifted programs from budget cuts and benign neglect by gathering much
needed support, and parents can play a vital role in communicating with
the public the necessity of maintaining appropriate educational experiences
for gifted students.
Why Gifted Programs Need Community Support
The educational needs of the nation's gifted students continues to
be a controversial topic. The general public holds many different attitudes
and beliefs relating to gifted and talented students. Unfortunately, there
are also a number of misconceptions about gifted students. For example:
* they need no special programming, that they will succeed anyway;
* their families are always supportive;
* they are not aware of their differentness unless they are identified
as gifted;
* they enjoy being examples for other students; and
* they prefer social isolation.
These common misconceptions are directly related to the lack of knowledge
many have about the characteristics and educational needs of exceptional
students. If we hope to build and maintain community support for gifted
programs, we must increase the awareness in the community of the unique
needs and qualities of gifted students as well as the benefits of gifted
education programs so we can
* resolve the equity vs. excellence debate;
* dispel myths about gifted students;
* locate and maintain funding sources for gifted education;
* recruit teachers into the field of gifted education; and
* create policies and/or mandates for gifted education.
Equity vs Excellence
Advocates of gifted education need to address the "Equity vs.
Excellence" issue. Many community members perceive gifted programs
as elitist. However, it is neither fair nor reasonable to provide equal
educational programming and hold equal expectations for all students,
regardless of their abilities. By providing enrichment and acceleration
experiences for gifted students, we are providing them with what they
need, not superfluous or unnecessary education. Helping the community
see and value the educational needs of gifted and talented students will
help generate support for their special programming requirements.
Dispel Myths
It is vital that advocates dispel the myths associated with gifted
students. Several of the more common myths are:
It is undemocratic to give special attention to the gifted. This
myth relates back to the equity versus excellence debate. All students
should receive educational programming that is appropriate to their needs
and abilities.
Gifted Students will do well on their own. Gifted students need
special educational programs to meet their complex learning needs. Without
special considerations, these students may not reach their full potential.
Gifted students should strive to be part of the mainstream. Our
country was founded on the premise that all individuals would develop
their natural talents for the benefit of society. We should not be satisfied
with mediocrity when excellence and preeminence are necessary to compete
in the ever-changing world marketplace.
Gifted students in special programs will have social-emotional problems.
The reverse of this myth is probably more often true. If gifted students
do not receive the necessary enrichment experiences they need, social-emotional
discontent may surface.
Improve Understanding
Educating the general public about the characteristics and needs of
gifted students is of utmost importance in gaining community support.
Presenting clear facts and information relating to current research can
help improve the public's knowledge and perceptions of gifted children
and the programs that serve these unique students. Enhancing community
support for gifted education will help locate and maintain financial support
for gifted programs. Funding for gifted education is limited, with additional
budget cuts occurring from year to year. In order to keep gifted programs
appropriately funded, it is imperative that we improve public opinion
and awareness of the benefits of quality educational options for gifted
students. As taxpayers, citizens play a crucial role in the appropriation
of funds for various programs that affect gifted education. As stakeholders
in the system, these same community members need to be made aware of the
impact appropriate gifted programming can have on both students and the
community as a whole.
Recruit Teachers
Strong public support will encourage teachers to enter the field of
gifted education and to sustain, perhaps increase, the number of teachers
pursuing degrees and certification in gifted education. It is essential
that student-teacher ratios be kept low in the gifted classroom to ensure
that the needs of these exceptional students can be adequately addressed.
Whenever teacher units are cut, class size grows. Continued public support
can assist in recruiting and maintaining quality teachers for gifted students.
Finally, public endorsement is desperately needed to advocate for state
mandates for gifted education so that appropriate educational opportunities
can be assured to all gifted students. Again, citizens play a vital role
in developing and establishing policies relating to education.
Continued legislative support is needed to ensure a certain future for
gifted education.
Why Parents?
There are several reasons why parents make excellent ambassadors for
spreading the word about gifted education. Parents are a primary, direct
link between the school and the general community. This link can be nurtured
and strengthened to become a vital and valuable resource. In addition,
parents of gifted children have first-hand experience with the characteristics
of gifted children and youth; they can influence other parents; they can
make issues relevant and clear to the general public; they may have direct
contacts to those in influential positions at the local, state, or national
level; school administrators listen to parents; and parents can network
to pool their skills for formulating an effective public relations plan.
While parents can be an excellent connection to the community, to be an
effective advocate it is necessary to become well informed of the issues
and policies relating to gifted education within the local school districts
and state. Thorough research to acquire a strong knowledge base on concerns
relating to gifted education will enhance accurate communication with
the public. Misinformation can create more harm than good. Below are some
more guidelines and activities:
* Speak out on behalf of gifted and talented children and appropriate
educational programs and services;
* Be sure to stay on top of developments in your local school budget and
curriculum planning decisions. It is always easier to have an impact on
key decisions before they are made, rather than trying to undo unfavorable
determinations;
* Advocate as individual parents and join others as well;
* Check to see if there is a local organization in your area already working
on these issues;
* Check with your state gifted education organization. They may know of
activists in your area.
* Offer to work with the state association on issues in the state capital
and in Washington, DC;
* Consider starting your own local group to work with parents, teachers,
and your local school board;
* Help make sure that gifted education programs and services in your area,
as well as student activities and competitions, receive coverage in your
local paper. The public gets behind local success stories!
Kristen Stephens is a doctoral student and graduate assistant at the
Center for Gifted Studies at The University of Southern Mississippi.
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Questions Parents of Gifted Students Should Ask Schools
by James Gallagher
Many parents dread the times they must meet their child's teacher. The
thought of meeting the principal or superintendent sends chills up their
spines. To many parents, the school is a "castle on the hill,"
distant and foreboding, a feeling that can prevent parents from interacting
with the school system on a constructive basis. However, there are questions
that parents of gifted students should ask of their school system regarding
the program or services for their children. Their right to ask such questions
matches the right of any parent.
What services are available for gifted students in this school and school
system, and what are the goals of such services?
The representative of the school should be able to speak at length on
the nature and purpose of the program or services the school and school
system provide. The school system should have a comprehensive K-12 set
of services for gifted students and some special opportunities available
to advanced students in all major content fields (math, social studies,
etc.). He or she should be able to tell you why and how your child has
been deemed eligible for these services and what they hope the outcome
will be for your child. These statements should be more specific than
"we hope to improve her thinking skills." Be sure to ask, "How
do you propose to do this? With what resources?"
How much time each week will my child spend in the gifted education program
or receive services?
This question is key since there is great variation among schools regarding
the time provided for gifted students. Time allotted to these programs
can extend from one hour a week to all day or something in between. Most
specialists believe that anything less than five hours a week is unlikely
to have a strong positive impact. If the school explains that the child's
needs are being taken care of in the regular classroom, they should be
able to detail what differentiated services are being applied in that
setting, and by whom.
Have the teachers in the gifted education program received specialized
training?
All too often, teachers are assigned to gifted programs without any specific
preparation. If they have not received training in educating gifted students
they should at least have advanced training in the content field they
are teaching. The school should also have a viable, articulate plan for
helping teachers receive additional preparation if they are not currently
certified or otherwise prepared. The regular classroom teacher should
also have some special preparation, particularly if the primary responsibility
for educating a gifted student depends on him or her.
Has my child received an assessment?
Since individual assessments cost schools money, some administrators would
rather rely on general or group tests or on teacher judgment to decide
who should be in a gifted education program. The school should tell you
what test instruments or procedures are used in assessing your child and
what has been learned from them. How far is the child's achievement from
the average for his or her grade? Are the results of the assessment being
used to develop an education plan tailored for your child?
Are there specialized materials (e.g., software) used in the gifted education
program or services?
The school representative should be able to name any special curricula
or advanced materials that are being used. These materials should be easily
accessible to the student, and the media room should have samples of materials
available for parents to review.
How will the school know if the gifted
education program or services are working?
Too few school systems are following a specific evaluation plan designed
to tell the teacher what is working and what is not and for which children.
The school representative should be able to state specifically what they
will do to demonstrate the benefits of the program for your child. Findings
(test results, analyses of portfolios, or student projects, etc.) should
be available to parents and shared on a regular basis.
How can I help the program?
Parents can be valuable adjuncts to the special instruction schools provide,
and schools should be able to make specific suggestions as to how parents
can help. There may be times, however, when a school is reluctant to accept
your input, and your best efforts to be cooperative are rebuffed. It is
important for you to know that you are not alone. There are probably other
parents who feel the way that you do, and they may already be in an organized
group. (You can check with your state gifted education association for
names of other interested parents in your area). Groups of parents are
invaluable in convincing school administrators that gifted and talented
students have special education needs. It sometimes requires repeated
efforts.
Parents often do not realize the various pressures that school administrators
and teachers are under. Schools must deal with unruly students, students
who are failing or are unmotivated, and the school day is often filled
with a variety of immediate crises that may keep them from a full appreciation
of the needs of your child. Under such circumstances you must remain vigilant.
In order to ensure that your child's educational needs are met, you should
interact personally with the school. A vigorous parent involvement and
inquiry has been one of the best ways to develop a comprehensive, appropriate
educational programs for your child.
Dr. James Gallagher is Kenan Professor of Education at the University
of North Carolina and has worked over 30 years in the field of education
for exceptional children. He has served as the President of the World
Council for Gifted and Talented, President of the Council for Exceptional
Children (CEC) and of The Association for the Gifted (TAG), and President
of the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC). A prolific author
in the field, Dr. Gallagher was editor of the Journal for the Education
of the Gifted for eight years. His textbook, Teaching the Gifted
Child, is now in its fourth edition.
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The Tea and Terrorist Society
Parent Advocacy at the District
Level
By Monique Lloyd
Originally
published in the Hollingworth Center for Highly Gifted Children
Newsletter, Radical Red Issue
Many parents feel powerless when dealing with their public schools; this
is especially true of parents with highly gifted children. The end-point
comes when they recognize their school system is not responsive to the
needs of students, parents, and community members and they find they must
take radical action. The less a child's needs are being met by the school
system, the greater the likelihood the parent will work for long term
and widespread change. The strength of that drive is not based on any
abstract philosophical or political theories but on one of the fiercest
instincts on earth -- protecting one's children.
I have four sons, all identified by my district as intellectually gifted
and each entitled by Oregon law to receive instruction at his individual
rate and level. I reached my end-point the day I realized I had a file
drawer full of records of meetings, phone calls, and letters with school
officials going back six years. For six years I'd tried to get school
officials to understand that not challenging my children and others like
them was hurting them. They hadn't listened. My children were still suffering.
All the letters I'd written could have been resent to the same people
changing only the dates. I'd played by their rules and wasted an enormous
amount of time and energy trying to change an indifferent system. I eventually
turned to homeschooling but at the same time continued to serve on district
committees and attend school board meetings. I wanted school officials
to be very aware that I was still there, still watching what they were
doing, still asking hard questions, and demanding answers. I was not going
away.
I found three other mothers in my district who had reached their end-points
at about the same time I had. We live in a small, rural community and
had known each other since our children began school. We began meeting
in each other' s homes on a regular basis to drink tea and complain about
the schools. Soon our discussions turned to what we could do. These mothers
had highly gifted children; some also had children who were learning disabled.
The Tea and Terrorist Society was born.
We realized we needed to understand our community. One mother's family
had lived here for generations. She knew which people were related, who
had known each other since childhood, and how well they got along. We
learned A and B were cousins and very close, for example; something a
casual observer would never have guessed, and that it would not be wise
to ask neighbors C and D to work together because, while cordial to each
other in public, they had been feuding for years.
We recognized the culture of our community was rural and what that meant.
Most of our school board members were farmers. They distrusted technology,
did not question the administration, and had trouble seeing beyond what
their eyes told them was there. The nature of our community had begun
slowly shifting in the previous few years and while we were and are still
quite rural, an influx of small business owners, commuters, and retired
folks who were outspoken and active in community affairs, including the
schools, had joined us. We knew they could help to effect change in the
schools.
One mother saw the world in visual terms and gave us ideas about what
to wear and why, how to hold our bodies, and use our eyes, voices, and
hands. Each of us took turns sitting next to her at meetings and listened
as she whispered to us what was really happening based solely on body
language. The third mother was adept at conversing with anyone. Her skills
were key. I worked to keep us focused and organized. We shared what we
were good at with each other and then shared what we'd learned with others
in little bits and pieces and in small and subtle ways.
Our first goal was giving parents hope. We worked at empowering others.
We didn't hold public meetings but looked at individuals' skills, the
level of risk taking they were comfortable with, the level of frustration
they felt with the schools, and gave each person encouragement and personalized
ideas. Some parents took everything we gave them and went further, adding
more ideas. We noted the techniques which were successful and helped spread
them. We included the community's traditional leaders by encouraging their
involvement in ways that worked for change.
Much of our information was passed along in what appeared to be informal
and spontaneous conversations. These casual discussions at the end of
phone conversations with neighbors, friends, and acquaintances, after
football and basketball games, outside the local grocery store and post
office, before a school or community meeting, or while waiting to pick
up children from school were, in actuality, all carefully planned.
We made many lists but little of our communication was written. We found
ways to bring the topic of conversation to the schools and then shared
the ideas we had, checking the points on our lists off mentally. When
talking about the school board, for example, we let it be known that their
names and phone numbers was available from the district office. We shared
information about how to talk to them effectively -- call after dinner
time, ask if they have a few moments to talk before starting, stay calm,
speak quietly and clearly, and state the problem or concern concisely.
Most of our board members were men. We noted that they paid closer attention
when other men spoke so we encouraged women to persuade their husbands
to go to meetings and speak up.
We shared advocacy tips: Decide what you want from the school for your
children and develop a plan, deciding beforehand on the minimum you'll
accept. Recognize you always have options. Persistence is essential because
school officials know that most people will give up after a few obstacles
are placed in front of them. Document everything in writing. If we had
time and the person was interested we'd give brief examples, showing how
these ideas had been effective for someone they knew.
As parents became more sophisticated we gave them more ideas. When a teacher
appears to be ignoring a letter you've sent about a problem, send another
thanking him or her for working to resolve the issue and ask for an update,
making sure to send a copy to the principal. If you're told something
can't be done because of a district policy, a law, an administrative rule,
or research ask to see it in writing; oftentimes it's been misinterpreted
and sometimes it doesn't exist. We analyzed letters we received from school
officials for style and content and added any effective techniques they
used to our repertoire. We allowed them to teach us and then we went out
and taught others what we'd learned.
There's an old country saying that you can't act like a skunk without
someone getting wind of it. Holding school officials accountable in public
for what they did and didn't do helped everyone better identify the source
of the smell. We insisted the district comply with state records and meetings
laws. After making several long-distance phone calls to the State Attorney
General's office, we discovered we could purchase a copy of the Public
Records and Meetings Manual for less than twenty dollars. It became an
invaluable tool. With access to records and meetings which had formerly
been denied to us, we began to ask more and harder questions. As the current
reality became clearer and parents began to believe they could change
schools to meet their children's needs, they developed visions of what
could be and began to work to make those visions the reality.
We avoided personal vendettas, recognizing that school officials do what
they do because they are trained to make and follow rules and regulations.
It's part of who they are and how they think. We aimed to give them ways
and reasons to think differently and if they couldn't then to find ways
to replace them with others who could.
We used what was in the system and made it more effective. For example,
in our district a parent is included on the interview committee when a
new teacher or administrator is to be hired. We didn't try get on these
committees ourselves but rather we'd wait until someone had volunteered
or been appointed and then gave that person ideas about what questions
to ask. Often we'd talk briefly to several people we knew that parent
knew and trusted and let them discuss it with the committee member.
What we did could never have been accomplished by just one or two individuals.
Not only did we need each other's skills and insights we needed each other
when we became discouraged and tired. We learned to laugh at ourselves
and not take ourselves too seriously. We analyzed what had happened when
things went awry and brainstormed to find new directions and tactics.
Our husbands provided financial support and cheered us on. They also provided
us with additional insights and techniques.
The Tea and Terrorist Society was active for four years. Our district
has a new superintendent, new principals, and new school board members.
A number of teachers have decided to go to other districts. The current
school board chairman is a retired IBM executive with an MBA. There is
constant attention to finding ways to change and improve. Our district's
goals are determined with community input, measurable, and continuously
examined to ensure they are reached.
Parents worked with administrators and the board to develop innovative
options. A public alternative school, which is in direct competition for
the district's students, is in its second year of existence with support
from the district. Parents also have the option to sign an alternative
education contract. After determining the best program for the student
and developing an individualized program for him or her, utilizing a combination
of in-school courses, computer and satellite dish classes, the parents,
superintendent, and student sign an alternative education contract. These
students are public school, alternative education students even though
some of their work may be done at home. We made sure not to cut any special,
secret deals. All the programs are in policies adopted by the school board.
This helps protect them.
My sons have gone back into the public schools after having been subject
and grade accelerated. The district has added advanced courses through
distance learning and community college classes. The children of the other
members of the Tea and Terrorist Society are attending the alternative
school or having their needs met in the public school. We've continued
to closely monitor what is going on in the schools and the community.
We recognize there are still problems and that the district could slip
back into old habits. We understand that neither success nor failure is
ever final.
Things didn't always work out the way we planned. Sometimes unexpected
twists and turns brought us to new and marvelous places we'd never have
thought to go. Sometimes serendipity came to the rescue and a problem
was resolved without our intervention. It was hard work, time consuming,
and emotionally exhausting. It had to be done over and over again because
people moved away or their children grew up and out of the schools.
The public schools do not belong to administrators and teachers. They
belong to us. Parents have enormous power, much more than they think they
do. They just have to use it. If you want change in your school district
and are searching for a leader look in a mirror and smile. Then find a
few others like yourself and get to work.
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Ten Tips for Parents of Students
By Monique Prevost Lloyd
1. Never go to the school angry. Anger begets more anger. If your child
comes home and tells you that his teacher hates him/her, it's very easy
for a parent to get angry. It is even easier for a parent of a gifted
child to feel this way because it is highly likely that you too are gifted.
When you were growing up you may not have been recognized as gifted and
you may have many unresolved feelings from your school experience. Try
to become aware of this and realize that you may still be carrying around
old baggage.
When you are calm, call the school and ask to speak to the teacher. The
school system is a bureaucratic system with a hierarchy. If the problem
is in the classroom, call the teacher first and listen carefully to what
he/she has to say. If you are unsatisfied with the response, call the
principal and request a meeting, preferably with both the principal and
the teacher involved present. Find out what the hierarchy is and what
the procedures are before there is a problem.
2. Be sensitive in sensitive situations. As you become more educated about
TAG children and TAG education, you may find yourself in some uncomfortable
situations. For example, a teacher may quote research you know is out
of date. Many teachers are open and responsive to new information but
others are not. You may need to find another way to get what your child
needs.
3. Be aware of the words you use and aware of the words others use. If
a teacher uses words or terms you don't understand, ask for an explanation.
Sometimes misunderstandings happen because people have different definitions
for the same words. For example, when one person says "ability grouping"
the other thinks "tracking". You can't communicate with someone
if you're not speaking the same language.
4. Ask yourself: "Whose problem is it?" You need to be able
to determine whose problem it is before you can begin to solve it. If
a teacher tells you he/she is uncertain about how to meet your child's
needs suggest a meeting with the principal, TAG coordinator, school counselor,
or other knowledgeable person in the system who can give the teacher some
ideas.
5. Develop a plan. Set short and long term goals about what you want for
your child. Develop an action plan and a strategy. Make a timetable. View
yourself as a problem solver. To solve a problem you must first define
it, brainstorm for possible solutions, choose the most likely solution,
and then try it. If it doesn't work, try another idea. Be persistent and
organized and keep yourself focused on your goals.
6. Document your activities. If you have more than one child, a job, a
household and/or business to manage, do volunteer work, and have a few
hobbies just for yourself, it can be very difficult to remember when you
last spoke to your child's teacher and what was discussed and agreed upon.
Keep track of it in writing. If you and teacher have agreed on some very
specific points and you want to make sure that the communication is clear,
write a letter summarizing what you believe happened at the meeting and
mail it to the teacher, requesting a response if there is a difference
of opinion.
7. Thank teachers. If you have a conference send a thank you note the
next day. Even if the meeting did not go well write a note thanking the
individual for his/her time. Always be sincere. It is important to keep
the communication lines open.
8. Be informed. Be informed about your child's classroom, your district,
the law, and the needs of gifted children. The time to meet your child's
teacher is before there's a problem. Establish a relationship at the beginning
of the school year. Attend school board meetings and budget meetings.
It's true they're sometimes boring. It's also true that there you can
gain information and insight that you cannot get anywhere else. Begin
talking to your board and budget committee members and get a sense of
where they are regarding gifted education. Nurture those who support it
and provide information in a non-threatening way to those who do not.
9. Join with other parents for emotional support. This is essential to
your well-being. Being a parent is hard job. Being a parent of a gifted
child (or children) is a very, very hard job. Be aware of your children's
strengths and that they may view the world in a different way, with a
different perspective and have deep passions and intense interests.
If someone should make a subtle negative remark about your child an effective
technique is to agree with them but then change it so that it becomes
positive. For example, if someone says your child is a loner you could
reply "Yes. He's always been quite independent and self-motivated."
If someone says your child has real stubborn streak you could say "Yes.
She's always been very determined and persistent." If someone describes
your child's stories as "bizarre and weird" you might say "Yes.
He's quite creative and imaginative. Perhaps he'll give Stephen King a
run for his money some day."
There are other parents who have survived having half-finished projects
scattered everywhere because their child is more interested in the process
than the product. There are other parents who don't have a working flashlight
in their home because their child has taken them all apart trying to figure
out how they work. Actively look for those parents. Find them and share
your experiences. You are not alone.
10. Recognize that how well your child is educated depends primarily on
you. The person who is most important in your child's education is the
one who is the most important in his/her life. That person is you. Make
sure your child has access to a large variety of books. You don't have
to hand them books and tell them to read. Just leave them lying around.
If you want to be really sneaky, hide them. They'll find them.
Listen to different types of music on the radio. Expose them to different
ideas, cultures, and ways of looking at things as much as you can. Make
it a priority. Don't let a limited family budget stop you. Be creative
and be generous about sharing your ideas with other parents.
Talk to your child. Sometimes the shortest answers are best. To a question
like, "Why don't they let just the smart people vote?", an answer
like "Just because someone is smart doesn't mean they know what is
best for everyone," can cause a gifted child to think for a long
time. If he/she asks more questions, direct him/her to resources to get
additional information. In this example you could direct your child to
the public library and the writings of Thomas Jefferson.
Remember that you always have options. If public school doesn't work,
try private school (many offer scholarships or are willing to make financial
arrangements). Homeschooling is possible even for single parents. There
are others who have done it and can help you do it.
Don't over-schedule your child and don't let an older child over-schedule
him/herself. Everyone needs time to think, to plan, and most of all, to
dream.
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What Works!
by Monique Lloyd
Some TAG parents have found creative and inventive ways to resolve problems.
PROBLEM
A sixth-grade student was denied admission to the district's TAG program
despite strong evidence, including a state standardized test score at
the 97th percentile in total reading, parent nomination, and two teacher
nominations, that he qualified. The parent wanted identification because
the student's teacher was insistent he was only an average reader and
refused to modify any assignments.
OPTIONS
The parent met with the teacher and principal several times to no avail.
The parent chose not to file a formal, written complaint because the school
year was more than half-over and she had no confidence that the complaint
process would result in any changes in the classroom.
The district had only one sixth-grade classroom. There was no where to
move the student except out-of-district, an option neither the parent
nor the student wished.
Both parents worked full-time and home-schooling was not an option.
SOLUTION
The parent wrote a letter to the principal, with copies to the district
superintendent and the teacher, stating that as of Monday of the following
week the student was to be sent to the library during reading time and
that she would provide his reading assignments to do there. Additional
reading instruction was provided at home by the parent. The parent described
this as "homeschooling in reading only" although the child stayed
in school the entire day.
There was strong opposition from the teacher, but the parent persisted
and an agreement was reached and put into writing.
RESULT
The problem was resolved for that school year.
The parent felt, however, that school officials were not responsive to
her son's needs. This was confirmed when the district continued to refuse
to identify the student as TAG despite a total reading score at the 99th
percentile at the end of the year.
The parent met with the district's only seventh-grade Language Arts teacher
who indicated that she did not plan to modify the student's reading program.
The parents decided to send this child to a private school. They also
felt it important to hold the system accountable so they sent a letter
to each member of the school board, with a copies to the district superintendent
and principal, informing them why they were removing their child from
the public school system.
PROBLEM
A kindergartner began school capable of reading books at the fifth-grade
level and understanding mathematical concepts including addition, subtraction,
multiplication, division, fractions, percentages, and simple Algebra.
The school immediately recognized that the student's program needed to
be radically modified but refused to allow the student out of the kindergarten
classroom.
The parent saw a problem developing when the student decided he wanted
to do what the other kids were doing instead of working alone. She requested
that at the end of the school year he be double promoted and provided
with instruction commensurate with his assessed level in a second grade
classroom. The principal opposed grade-skipping on philosophical grounds
and denied the request. Her concerns revolved around socialization issues
and insisted that age placement was more important.
OPTIONS
The parent felt that the only appropriate option for her child was a double
promotion and then instruction at assessed level in academic subjects.
There were no private schools in the area and the parent was uncertain
of her abilities to homeschool.
This child was the youngest of four children and had excellent social
skills but his interests were those similar to those of older children.
He could not understand why no one had the same interest in insects that
he did, for example, or why they didn't understand his jokes, which were
often word-play.
SOLUTION
The parent sought the help of a sympathetic first-grade teacher, and together
with the kindergarten teacher, arranged for the student to spend half
of his time in the first-grade classroom. The student fit in very well
and made friends. The teachers, with written permission from the parents,
obtained permission from the principal to have the student take the first
grade standardized tests with those students.
RESULT
When a meeting was held at the end of the year, the first-grade teacher
reported that the student had scored at the 99th percentile in both total
reading and math and that the student fit in well with the first grade
students, both academically and socially. Permission to double-promote
was granted and the following year the second-grade teacher provided opportunities
for the student to work ahead in all subjects without isolating him.
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Parent Information
from Hoagies
gifted website
Who Are The Gifted?
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